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I'm more anxious with guests
#320210
05/24/2024 04:28 PM
05/24/2024 04:28 PM
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 321 Massachusetts USA
tmsxmsails
OP
Traveler
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OP
Traveler
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 321
Massachusetts USA
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My trip is coming up - my first trip with non-family crew - and I'm more anxious about it than I've ever been.
When it is just my wife and I, if sh!t hits the fan, we just roll with it like we do everything else but with actual guests, I'm feeling pressure.
I want to make sure we go to the right places, hit the right bars and restaurants, snorkel the right spots, win the boatyball lottery - ugh. Not to mention the usual concerns of not dragging an anchor and having good weather.
It's dumb - these folks are great friends and have assured me that they too will roll with anything that might come up but it's hard. It actually took me a long time to agree to this trip because of this very reason. I feel responsible for them enjoying their vacation and if something happens - bad weather, breakdown, whatever - I feel like I will have cost them money (I told them this and they promised me they won't hold anything against me).
Obviously, I can only control what I can control and as long as I don't do something stupid, it is what it is and I have to just deal with it. It's just an odd feeling because I don't normally feel this kind of angst. It almost, ever so slightly, puts a damper on my anticipation of the trip. I can't wait until it actually starts and I don't have to anticipate it any more. I'm sure I will relax and switch into "deal with it" mode and everything will be fine - I hope...
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Re: I'm more anxious with guests
[Re: tmsxmsails]
#320215
05/24/2024 05:08 PM
05/24/2024 05:08 PM
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 875 Redmond, WA
MrEZgoin
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Traveler
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 875
Redmond, WA
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My wife and I usually have gone as a couple after our kids were grown. When we've had guests, it has certainly added to the stress and pressure a bit, but was also greatly fun and rewarding. Nothing keeps one's appreciation fresh as sharing it with others.
I advise not to make a lot of advance promises on itinerary details - don't accept a mindset that you are now obligated to tick off every item on the collective itinerary.
I will confess that we actually have paid the advance boatyball reservation fee in this situation, just to provide maximal flexibility.
M4000 "Lio Kai"
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Re: I'm more anxious with guests
[Re: tmsxmsails]
#320229
05/25/2024 12:14 AM
05/25/2024 12:14 AM
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Joined: May 2022
Posts: 33 Earth. Occasionally above.
Skytrucker
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: May 2022
Posts: 33
Earth. Occasionally above.
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Tmsxmsails - I’m feeling the same anxiousness ahead of my trip, seems like for the same reasons- you’re right, control the controlable, especially the boat, and the rest will work itself out, “you in da islands, mon!” Thanks for saying it out loud, and thanks for the replies!
My wife’s been telling me “it’ll be great no matter what, and they won’t know they’ve missed something if we end up somewhere different!”
-
There’s nothing, absolutely nothing, half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.
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Re: I'm more anxious with guests
[Re: tmsxmsails]
#320238
05/25/2024 08:25 AM
05/25/2024 08:25 AM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 2,447 Miramichi NB Canada
Sandsailsun
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 2,447
Miramichi NB Canada
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I was exactly like you and the others when having guests . We had a partnership in a 52 mono before Irma took her and would frequently bring family and friends.,one thing we always did was bring those who had either boating or camping experience and appreciated the conserve water, nothing in the heads etc etc. concepts.
If they are BVI newbies it is incredible to witness them seeing the magic of this place….that also makes it easier for you as the captain to change things up,based on weather , wind etc. they won’t really know what the plan A looks like.
We tried to get our guests involved by discussing the many roles on a boat and having them self assign. Galley for those who like to cook, dinghy captain , bartender , someone to make sure people drink enough water ,etc etc.
Discuss berth assignment ahead of time.
Have a kitty to which everyone contributes for things like mooring balls, ice etc.
Prep meals in the morning ahead to minimize time in galley underway or later in day.
There are a ton of fantastic tips on this site.
I always tell the ladies , don’t worry about make up, no hair dryers ,no heels allowed etc. half the clothes twice the money.
Share the weather apps with your guests and do some “what if “ scenarios . Have them study the charts and think about times and direction of the routes you plan.
Teach them all how to use the VHF. Do safety drills , etc.
I am a self proclaimed over planner and it helps make a trip better.,
Tell them all that on occasion the captain may use a stern tone and that means listen to me !
Most of all have FUN
Last edited by Sandsailsun; 05/25/2024 08:32 AM.
Kim
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Re: I'm more anxious with guests
[Re: tmsxmsails]
#320248
05/25/2024 12:57 PM
05/25/2024 12:57 PM
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 321 Massachusetts USA
tmsxmsails
OP
Traveler
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OP
Traveler
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 321
Massachusetts USA
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Thanks everyone, for your comments. It's nice to know that others can feel the same things. Your guests have never been on this type of vacation and will have great fun even if it’s unplanned locations and schedule. No need to worry. I’m guessing they’re generally not the complaining type or you wouldn’t have agreed to the trip.
Yeah, these guys are NOT the complaining type. We camp with them all the time and take other trips with them and have had many adventures along the way. I think the difference in this case is that I'm the expert. Nothing happens on this trip without me and everything hinges on me not screwing up. We have regaled them with the tales of our past trips (which got them excited to join us) and I became this all-knowing master seaman who can handle any situation. Now I have to put up or shut up. I can handle effing up in front of my wife. Losing face in front of my friends is another thing. Don't get me wrong. I'm not losing sleep over this. It's really just a subtle feeling of a tiny bit of extra pressure - like it sounds like others have had. It does help to lay it out there though. And alas, no, I can't turn this over to anyone's deity. Gotta man up and handle this myself.
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Re: I'm more anxious with guests
[Re: tmsxmsails]
#320271
05/25/2024 08:01 PM
05/25/2024 08:01 PM
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 875 Redmond, WA
MrEZgoin
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 875
Redmond, WA
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Hopefully, if he has done all that research he will also realize that on board a small boat everything is subject to the weather.
But I get it... we had a group of guests where JVD/White Bay ended up feeling like a "must deliver" and it added a bit of pressure.
M4000 "Lio Kai"
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Re: I'm more anxious with guests
[Re: tmsxmsails]
#320286
05/26/2024 10:05 AM
05/26/2024 10:05 AM
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 211
Kegoangoango
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 211
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I totally get it - it's what I do too and I think it's one of the reasons we are close friends. Enough said. You’ll be fine.
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Re: I'm more anxious with guests
[Re: tmsxmsails]
#320377
05/27/2024 10:32 PM
05/27/2024 10:32 PM
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Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 945 Georgia & South Carolina
Deepcut
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 945
Georgia & South Carolina
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There are plenty of things to see and do in a 2-3 week trip.. Thus in 1 week, you are not going to see or do it all... That will be the next trip.
Have crew help with menu and provisioning. Each couple take a meal for dinner and you will likely eat out the other nights. Remember the grill is small so filets are preferred over big ribeyes!
Get them involved in helm, mooring. planning next day.
Sharing with friends is a great trip that all will talk about for years. Relaxing with just family is a different trip, also fun,
At planning parties, find out what 3-4 things they most want to do and try to hit the top ones. However this may change at the last minute.(Never visit Baths when cruise ship is there. Go early (Before 9, or late (after 3:00) or another day. I had planned a special birthday for "Grandpa" at Coca Maya but on that day, with the grandkids, the request was made to switch to Michael Beans Pirate Show (Arrrr Memories made which made his day).
And Roll with the punches.
OH, If you have not done it yet, have everyone send you a copy of their Passport Photo Page (Check the dates!!! More than once Ithey discovered they needed to get passport expedited !
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Re: I'm more anxious with guests
[Re: tmsxmsails]
#320388
05/28/2024 10:10 AM
05/28/2024 10:10 AM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 972 Middleburg, VA
cwoody
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 972
Middleburg, VA
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Our Itineraries are always flexible and subject to the wind. I like to do a couple of two-night stays, especially North Sound and Anegada. This gives the crew time to " do their own thing" if they choose. I usually promise my first timers that every day will be better than the last. Not hard to accomplish this in the BVI !
Chuck W.
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Re: I'm more anxious with guests
[Re: tmsxmsails]
#321410
06/20/2024 09:40 AM
06/20/2024 09:40 AM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 1,083 Maryland, US
gordapeak
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 1,083
Maryland, US
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We did this a few years ago, and frankly it did NOT work! The couple, who we knew very well (not well enough), did not "fit in". Gave them a copy of the cruising guide, told them to watch "Captain Ron", all preventatives. Sunsail 444 cat, comfortable, sailed to Leverick first day. They had the beach barbecue that night. After getting back to the boat, the husband started what would be a nightly routine - approached me on the tram. "She really is uncomfortable with the whole dinghy thing, could we please dock from here on out?" Of course, my answer was "Nope - no docks from here on out". Day two was her birthday, so I thought it'd be a real treat to do lobster on the beach at Wonky Dog - NOPE! "She didn't like eating outside, can we pick restaurants with AC from here on out?". You see ant places with windows? NOPE! Day three - Corsairs on JVD, chatted with friends, really great dinner - you guessed it, "Hey, I know you're friends, but Vinny is ripping you off - that meal was WAY overpriced!". At this point I quit and just had fun. A week after we got back, hubby told me that it had been "interesting", but they would not be doing it again - like I was going to ask? You do your best, but some folks will not get it - don't take it personally.
"Confidentially, I've had these problems with the tides before"
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Re: I'm more anxious with guests
[Re: gordapeak]
#321443
06/21/2024 07:08 AM
06/21/2024 07:08 AM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 7,154 GA/NC
GeorgeC1
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 7,154
GA/NC
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We did this a few years ago, and frankly it did NOT work! The couple, who we knew very well (not well enough), did not "fit in". Gave them a copy of the cruising guide, told them to watch "Captain Ron", all preventatives. Sunsail 444 cat, comfortable, sailed to Leverick first day. They had the beach barbecue that night. After getting back to the boat, the husband started what would be a nightly routine - approached me on the tram. "She really is uncomfortable with the whole dinghy thing, could we please dock from here on out?" Of course, my answer was "Nope - no docks from here on out". Day two was her birthday, so I thought it'd be a real treat to do lobster on the beach at Wonky Dog - NOPE! "She didn't like eating outside, can we pick restaurants with AC from here on out?". You see ant places with windows? NOPE! Day three - Corsairs on JVD, chatted with friends, really great dinner - you guessed it, "Hey, I know you're friends, but Vinny is ripping you off - that meal was WAY overpriced!". At this point I quit and just had fun. A week after we got back, hubby told me that it had been "interesting", but they would not be doing it again - like I was going to ask? You do your best, but some folks will not get it - don't take it personally. I like Vinny as well, however his Pizza’s are getting up there!
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