TravelTalkOnline Forums Travel and Vacation Forums British Virgin Islands My Parents Memorial On CGB

Good morning everyone!

About 25-30 years ago my parents (Bill & Shirley Mason) discovered the BVI's and more specifically Cane Garden Bay. They pestered my wife and I for years to come down and check it out. They lived to go there every February for the month. We would see their pictures and hear their stories of a beautiful beach and how great the locals are.

So in 2005 we decided to finally check it out. I will say, pictures did not do justice. This place was just magical. The beaches, the people, the food. All amazing. Like our parents we fell in love with Cane Garden Bay. Since 2005 we have been back every year. Although February did not work for us due to my job, we would go in November. All of our trips were/are land based.

As the years went by we discovered the other surrounding islands and fell in love with Anegada where we have been vacationing for the last 5-6 years. Now spending a week in May and a week in November.

As my parents aged it became more and more difficult for them to travel to their beloved Cane Garden Bay. I believe 2015 was their last trip down and that had to be cut short due to difficulties of getting around as they had aged. My mom (actually step mom, but in my eyes my mom) passed away in April of 2017. My father followed her path in June of the same year. I truly believe he died of a broken heart as he missed her terribly.

Both of them did not want to be buried where they lived in Michigan. They asked that I take their ashes down to the BVI's for them. Little did I know that I would be carrying two sets of ashes at the same time. So we planned to do this in November 2017. As you know Irma and Maria had different plans and forced us to wait a year.

We are planning to have their memorial this November 14th at Myett's on Cane Garden Bay. I would like to invite any of you TTOL'ers who will be in the area on that day to please come by. Val has been an incredible help in arranging this for us as she very well knew my parents. We are not planning anything elaborate as my parents were very simple and modest people. Val has arrange a boat for me to take their ashes out to sea and to leave them permanently in the BVI's.

Again, if any of you are at or near CGB on the 14th please stop by Myett's. I will be the one wearing a Notre Dame bucket hat along with my beautiful wife. Drinks are on me. I hope to meet some of you then.

Thanks for reading.

Bill Mason

What a lovely post. Sadly, I will not be there in November, but our thoughts are with you, as you bid your parents a lovely goodbye.

What an amazing tribute! I'm hoping my family does the very same for me when I'm gone. We'll just miss you by a couple of weeks, but will think of you and you parents while we're there.

Wouldn't we all like to rest in such a place. Look forward to seeing you in Anagada and possibly CGB. We communicated thru BVI Pirate last week. Have a wonderful ceremony!

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your parents Bill. My Dad (whose name was also Bill) died 2 years ago, and I understand the feeling of losing that second parent. I would love to join you and celebrate your parents' lives with you, however, I will not be in Tortola until 12/28. I will put a toast to and prayer for them on my list of "things to do" while I am in the BVI. Thank you so much for the invitation. If you don't mind, please give me the first name of your Mom as well so I can be specific in my toast and prayer. Thank you.

~Dan

Sadly we leave that day to head back to Sonoma but we will toast you and your folks. If you are carrying their ashes with you DO NOT declare them to customs or they may be tied up in red tape for months..much love

God bless, what a fitting memorial. It is in my will for a similar burial, my kids are to travel together. There is no where in the world better to spend eternity. May you have a beautiful send off for your parents.

Thank you all for the kind words. Thanks to my parents we do not feel like tourists in the BVI's. We feel like we are home. This is the least I can do for them.

Mal, I thought about that. We are flying from ST Thomas to Anegada with VI Airlink. The airline informed me we will not be stopping to clear on EIS. Customs on Anegada will not be an issue. But a very good point nonetheless.

We flew with my father in law's cremains within the US, and it ended up being about 30 minutes at security, even though we had our paperwork all in line. Even within the US, security seems to not know how to handle cremains.

Carol, I am more concerned about going through TSA than I am with the airline. I am flying with American Airlines and their "rules" seem pretty straightforward and simple (carry on only). I am transporting the remains in the vinyl/cardboard box in which the funeral home delivered them to me. Inside, the ashes are in a thick plastic bag. I cannot see for any reason why TSA would have any problem x-raying the boxes. I plan to arrive at CLT a bit earlier than normal just in case.

Well, you would think that would be the case, that TSA would know what they are doing. But, as I said, it was at least a half hour for us going through security. So do allow extra time. And while we didn't need it, make sure you have the certificate for the cremains.

We flew with my wife's parents cremains in our carry on from Atlanta to Missouri two years ago. The common requirement I found was that the cremains must be in a clear container. With your paperwork, TSA is not allowed to touch the container. Even with that knowledge, the TSA agent here actually laughed when I told him the glass container had the cremains of my wife's parents in it! However there was very little delay in our going through security as the bag went thru the scanner and was pulled for inspection by the idiot agent. To make it easier we had them in one container.

I guess you are talking about the physical ashes being in a clear container INSIDE the outer box, but there is no way they would know whether they are in a clear container or not, unless it says that on the certificate. My father in law's cremains were in a wood-look box, which was clearly NOT a clear container and they NEVER opened it. They swabbed it for explosives, but the outside box was definitely NOT clear.

Our container was clear glass NOT in an outer box.

OK, I'm just saying that it is NOT a TSA requirement to have a clear box, as it does not say there anywhere on the TSA website and ours definitely was not clear.

Sorry we will not be there on the 14th. We're down next Wednesday through the 7th. I'm a funeral director and whenever I know a family wants to transport cremains by airline, we make sure they have a copy of the death certificate, cremation permit and cremation certificate. Fortunately I'm not aware of only of our families having trouble with TSA. I must admit I've thought about offering this service on our boat.

We provide a black polymer urn inside a cardboard box all inside a velvet bag. Only requirement is x-ray must see inside the urn, meaning no metal or marble type materials.

The problem I know of was here in the BVI's. The former owner of CRC asked to have her ashes spread on the ocean in Apple Bay. Warren Mc Kenna, who built CRC, brought them in and declared them at C and I here..six months later they were released to him! And, if you think that is crazy...another friend of ours died down here and they wanted to ship his body back to the US for burial. At EIS they asked for his passport!!! They would not allow the coffin out of the country without a passport..I kid you not.You just cant make this $h*t up!!

The transportation of human remains is totally different than transporting cremains. The person's passport is one of the required documents needed entering or exiting counties. Guess they want the original passport so no one can turn it into a counterfeit. There is a ton of paper work involved.

Mal, in the latter part of your post, are you referring to Lawson Whiting?

It sounds sneaky,are you sure they didn’t want the deceased signature?

Good morning everyone! I wanted to give you all a final update on this trip. I will first say this was probably one of the coolest and yet mildly saddest thing I have ever done.

I'll start with TSA in Charlotte early Saturday morning. I had my parents boxes in my duffel bag and announced that when I approached. I had all necessary paperwork with me as well. The first thing the TSA agent told me was condolences for my loss. He put the boxes in a special bin and ran it through the x-ray. They then took me and the boxes to the table to run a swab around both boxes. The boxes were never opened of course. Total time with TSA was less than 3 minutes. They were extremely compassionate and did not ask for any paperwork.

We were scheduled to fly directly from STT to Anegada. Since there were other passengers we were forced to go through CI on Tortola. My bags were left on the plane so no issues there. Since we had already gone through CI on Tortola, when we landed on Anegada we walked straight through to Dean who was waiting with our vehicle. So no CI issues whatsoever. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing my parents made it to the islands.

Before I go into the Wednesday ceremony I have to tell you about a couple we met at Cow Wreck. If you read an earlier post on this thread NWA4Sail and I were hoping to meet on Anegada sometime that week. So on Monday I was approached at Cow Wreck by NWA4Sail (Jonny). We chatted for a bit and then introduced our wives. Of course Jonny's wife Carol (a Wheel of Fortune Champion!) and my wife Melissa hit if off. We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with this great couple.

Tuesday brought heavy winds and several rain squalls that lasted into the night. Wednesday's forecast did not look much better. The forecast was for heavy winds and 70% chance for rain. We were very concerned that we might not make it to Tortola on Wednesday. On Wednesday morning we got to the airport on Anegada and found that VI Airlink was definitely on their way to get us. The flight was a little bumpy, but not bad.

We arrived at Beef Island to a very warm welcome from Val who then took us to Myett's. She told us on the way that CGB is still very much under construction. When we arrived saws and hammers were prevalent. There is still a lot of work to be done. But CGB is absolutely coming along nicely. But it sure looks different.

Val had arranged a boat for us and that was the first thing we did. Kareem had picked some fresh flowers and placed the petals in a basket for us. Along with another couple my parents were friends with in MI we set off to just out of the cove to send my parents off properly. Once the boat anchored I read a poem and then Melissa and I opened the boxes and carefully dumped the ashes into the sea. We then followed that up with the flower petals and held each other while everything floated away. After a couple of minutes Val and Kareem opened a bottle of champagne and we toasted my parents.

Jonny was planning to bonefish with Danny on Tuesday morning. As said earlier, the weather was not conducive for fishing. So Jonny and Carol decided to leave Anegada early and head to Jost. They did that so they could be with us on CGB Wednesday. That was a wonderful surprised for my wife and I. This awesome couple took time away from their vacation to be with us. We will be forever grateful.

Once back at CGB Val arranged for appetizers and I had the bar opened up. We spent the next 3 hours eating, drinking, reminiscing and laughing with the couple from MI, our new friends Jonny and Carol and several locals who knew my parents. One special visitor for me was Patsy Rhymer. She has known my parents for a very long time and it was a pleasure that she came. What a wonderful lady. Val and Kareem, while under construction and plenty of work to do, spent the whole day with us. I cannot thank them both enough for helping make this a very special day for us. They were no less than amazing. I am forever indebted to them both.

Remember what I wrote earlier about the weather forecast? The entire day was absolutely beautiful! No rain and slight winds. Do you think my parents had anything to do with that?

Thank you all who commented earlier with your advice. Thanks again for reading. I am very proud I was able to fulfill my parents wishes and they are now where they belong. Just off the coast of beautiful Cane Garden Bay where they will remain forever.

Bill & Melissa Mason

What a lovely post! Thanks so much for sharing your lovely day with us.

Well Done

Wish we could have been there..what a way to send your folks off in style, island style. Much love.

Sounds like they were watching over you with the sunshiny day. What a memorial send off...they raised a wonderful son.

Bill, It's nice to hear that the rest of your vacation went well. It was certainly a pleasure for us to meet you and Melissa. We had a great time on Anegada and enjoyed your company and all the others in CGB! It was obvious that your parents were very well thought of by all the friends gathering to celebrate their lives! Thanks for the nice words and hopefully we'll see you guys down there again! Go Panthers and Saints!. Jonny

PS - ND is looking good!

Beautiful tribute! Job well done!!

Thanks for the update, what a great way to memorialize your parents. I will be thinking about this when I am at Myett's / CGB next month. It will make my first trip to the BVI that much more special.