SXM - 6/22 to 6/29 - Taoist moments on Bag-less Beach
Tao Te Ching - verse 48 - by Lao Tzu ~ 600BC
In the pursuit of learning, every day something is acquired.
In the pursuit of Tao, every day something is dropped.
Less and less is done
Until non-action is achieved.
When nothing is done, nothing is left undone…
This trip was our fifth wedding anniversary gift to ourselves. Every healthily married couple needs a little private time, so we planned the trip to occur while our son was off at camp…which turned out to be a good thing…
We'd talked about a lot of different places to go this summer…Dominican Republic, Aruba, Jamaica, Belize…but all the other choices turned out to be just about as expensive…and some had terrible flight schedules. DFW just does not get the same great airfare deals many of the other airports get…or at least I'm too stupid to find them. So, for many reasons…including the draw of returning to the "St. Tropez of the Caribbean"…this became our second trip to SXM.
To help insure as stress-free a vacation as possible, we also set some rules for this trip, inspired by Taoist philosophy. If you don't recognize the word "Taoist", then just think "Zen"…it's sorta the same idea.
Rule Number One….no schedule, no requirements!
Rule Number Two…see rule number one.
Thursday - up at 3:30 am to catch a 6 am flight. Ok, so maybe that part of the no schedule rule could have been worked out a little better. We flew AA through Miami…no problem at Miami, plenty of time to catch the SXM flight.
We arrived at SXM ~ 2:15pm…and my wife's baggage did not show up with us! Not one stitch of her clothes arrived…no shoes, no underwear, no swimsuits...nada. Baggage claim help at SXM was less than responsive. After an hour of dorking around with these folks, we took our lumps and headed out of the airport. Failing to realize the Tao was at work, I figured the no-stress part of this vacation was already looking grim.
We rented a Toyota Corolla from Safari ($175 including tax). I didn't make a prior reservation, but we got brand new car (Toyota Corolla). Last time we did this the same way, so I'd say don't stress about getting a car reserved ahead of time…at least in low season.
We finally arrived at Grand Case Beach Club ~5 pm. Unpacking was…short.
We went to Spiga for supper. Good food…no breeze. Dang it was hot! Best iced tea on the island though.
Friday - my wife is officially the Bag-less Lady…and the airline required 24 hours before reimbursement for clothes could begin, which meant no shopping till the day was mostly gone....what to do, what to do? We did not want to waste 15% of our beach time. Funny how a year's time, an inept person (or two), and the Tao can lead to a revelation.
Last year, on our first trip to SXM, we were among the ranks of gawkers walking down to "that" particular southern section of SXM's most famous beach, speculating about how odd it would to be "bare butt nekked right there in front of god an everbuddy". Back then, my wife made more than one comment about the "oddness" of it.
That, of course, was before we ourselves were forced to become one of the bag-less minority. It was only now, in our quandary, that we realized just how friendly and accommodating the French actually were!
Oh insight! Of course…they'd gone and reserved a whole section of beach just especially for anyone who'd gotten to SXM without baggage. Since we were determined not to waste one precious minute of "beach time", we finally agreed we'd just have to suck it up (or in) and jump in with both feet. And so began our odyssey on Bag-less Beach
Can you say newbie? Gads I bet it was obvious we'd never been bag-less before. For those of you finding yourselves in our predicament, here's some tips for spending the day on the Bag-less Beach property…
Tip #1…don't go to the main office of the Bag-less Beach property if you're just there for the day. The guard shack by the main auto gate is where you pay your 20 bucks to park and get tags for your umbrella and beach chairs.
Tip #2…try to keep your lower jaw relatively close to your upper lip while you're walkin' through the bag-less property to the beach …and no gawkin'! It’s ok to respond if somebody waves at ya…just don't wave too hard.
Tip #4…just pick the first open pair of chairs and umbrella you come to. Wandering up and down the beach trying to find an isolated set of chairs, while still clothed, makes you really conspicuous. An isolated set of chairs doesn't really exist anyway. Sooner or later some unknown bag-less person will be sitting right next to you…and usually for most of the rest of the day. And don’t be rude…sooner or later…you're gonna have to talk to them.
Tip #5…shuck whatever clothes you're wearin' and immediately go straight to the bar and get liquored up. Yep, that's right. Clothes off first, then the bar run…er, walk. You'll quickly quit caring that you don't fit in (not the best phrase for standing in the bar line, I reckon), or that the glare off your butt is going to blind people, or that you are not the studmuffin/brickhouse you once were.
Tip # 6…sunblock…goes everywhere!
Actually, it was surprising how quickly the newness to the bag-less experience melted away. SXM's infamous sand gravity, happy hour drinks, warm Caribbean water, and "bag-less is normal" attitudes on the part of everybody quickly overtook many of our initial misgivings.
We pretty much enjoyed our first whole bag-less day…except for one wannabe Latin Don Juan who homed in on my wife like a heat seeking missile. Apparently too much Tequila and an over-inflated Latin ego made the guy unaware that his methodology was blatant…not to mention unwarranted and unwanted. It think it also made him unaware that he was about a half a foot too short to be pulling that kind of stunt (my wife and I are both six feet tall). Can’t really pick on the guy too much…my wife is gorgeous...and he was really Latin…er, drunk.
Food…humm, we didn't really eat much today…too much sun on places that had never seen sun…too much rum and/or Tequila…happy hour drinks were only about 40% mixer! And yes, some of us later prayed that we would not feel that bad for the rest of the trip! When the sun went to bed, so did we. We did manage to get down a small pizza at Le Bar.
Saturday - my wife is still bag-less, so what's a guy gonna do…”Aw darn honey - guess we'll just have to go to the poor folks beach again!”
Then, I learned my wife had decided she's at least got to have something else to wear in the car on the way to the east side of the island. Unlike us guys, a third day in the same set of clothes just wasn't gonna happen! $110 and an hour later we are on our way…but hey, she didn't buy a swim suit. Bill-schmill!
Today…we are with it. No stumbling around at the gate, no fumbling for chairs and an umbrella. We sorta fit in. I'd say blend in…but the glare off my butt is still blinding people.
Tip #7…You should really consider shucking your clothes at the main gate. It’s a heck of a lot more refreshing to walk to the beach that way.
We met some more people, had some great laughs and conversations, and observed that constant eye-contact appears to be a standing rule (sorry, bad phrase again) for the bag-less.
Interestingly a statistical analysis, based on a disproportionately small sample size, came up with a 60% population of "teacher" as an occupation. Now I know teachers are all grossly underpaid and thus have a limited baggage collection, but I'm sure I can't remember even one teacher ever telling me that they were a bag-less person in another life. Wonder how that would fly on their resume…or mine for that matter?
For part of the day I rented a Hobie cat from CNS up on the bagged part of the beach and sailed until I could no longer pull in the sheet (that’s the rope that controls the sail position). Of course that meant that I had to put on a bathing suit for half the day, as apparently bag-less people aren't supposed to be sailing. Besides, there are just some things you don't want tangled up in the ropes.
While I was wearing myself out, my wife got a great massage at the Bag-less Beach facility. I think she may have made the better choice.
For supper we ate lobster at Planet Orient Beach. Big bucks - $150 US by the time we were done! Really good though. Huge lobsters (3-6 pounders) just wandering around in a too small tank. You probably shouldn't be naming the critters before they zip them off to the boiler as it sorta makes eating them seem a little weird.
Sunday - still bag-less, literally. Since we were planning on riding a parasail today (another one of those things you probably shouldn't try bag-less), we had to shop for some shorts for my wife. Not thinking, we first stopped at Sexy Fruits/Adam and Eve and wound up paying $48 for one pair of short legged bathing trunks.
Of course, we then found the clothing shop right behind Baywatch and paid more reasonable prices for a few other items of clothing for the wife, including one grandly sexy skirt and halter top. This time the bill was only $39. So now were up to $200 in unexpected expenses. Sure glad AA is paying that lost baggage bill!
By now we were really enjoying the bag-less life. We even figured we'd sign up for the Tiko Tiko cruise. And…we'd pretty much learned to let sand gravity do what it does best.
We found we gravitated towards, and kept running into, a small contingent of acquaintances…just common folk of diverse ages and interests…some of whom we discovered have been bag-less for more than two decades. Their egos seemed pretty bag-less too. Nice people.
The day was over too quickly and the beach, as always, got rolled up around 5 pm. Upon returning to GCBC we discovered that my wife's lost baggage had finally arrived. When my wife started unloading the bag I finally discovered why it had taken so long for it to arrive. Jeez, she must have brought every stitch of beach clothes, sandals, and bathing suits she owns. I considered teasing her by saying…"No wonder your baggage was late, it took four days for the TSA to search through that much stuff!"
Notice I said I considered saying that. Guys, take this as a warning. Don’t ever say that to your wife, even in jest. It just ain't gonna go over well! And, there was undeniable feminine logic in bringing all that stuff. You see, according to my wife, bringing all that stuff made packing much less stressful since she didn't have to decide what not to bring.
That evening, we went to Cheri's to catch the drag-show. My wife wore one of her new outfits bought near the beach. Ok, clothes do have a use after all. Hummm…they be gift wrappin'.
The show was funny…but not as good as we were expecting based on prior TTOL reviews. While we were there, we met a young couple that was on the first day of their honeymoon. She was eager and full of life…and he was a true gentleman…and about as greenhorn as you can get.
They were not "bag-less", but we think had the wife known that getting her luggage lost could have certain unexpected benefits she might have thrown the bags away herself. The rest of the trip we wondered if we'd see these two suddenly appear bag-less…and how that young greenhorn of a husband would react. My "Taoist" advice obviously would have been….go with the flow dude!
On the way back from Cheri's we decided that there just wasn't any real attraction for us on the Dutch side of the island. We get "BUSY" the rest of our lives at home. Our no schedule, no requirement, Taoist-style vacation doesn't need "busy".
However, later we went to sleep talking about how lazy we were getting and about at least going to the Lotterie Farm, or maybe riding a parasail the next day.
Monday - Sitting at breakfast, somehow the idea of stumbling through a hot, humid forest lost out to Bag-less Beach and sand gravity. Bag-less Beach has captured us and nothing can seem to get in the way of sand gravity. Not knowing better, we tried to eat breakfast at Baywatch, only to discover that they are closed on Mondays. So we hit the little café next to Tap-Five in the Orient market area. Good coffee and eggs, but somebody really needs to talk the cook about bacon (damn near raw).
Among other things that didn't happen today was visiting some of the hotels on the Orient Beach proper for future reference. Talked about it multiple times, asked multiple people where they were staying and what it was like there…but never actually got our butts off the beach.
No schedule, no requirements were working at full tilt!
Tip #8…about day four, you will notice that your butt is still not tanned. Do NOT stop putting sunblock on this part of your body. That will not make it tan any faster, and you WILL regret sitting down for the next two days.
One of the more incongruent things to happen during our stay was to attend the wine and cheese party held at the Bag-less Beach restaurant. After days of lounging around bag-less in a sea of nonchalant participants, we suddenly found ourselves severely underdressed and in the midst of an entire array of plumage displays. Huh?!
After the crowd cleared out, we ate at the Bag-less Beach restaurant, and then called it a night.
Tuesday - Lotterie Farm ain't ever happenin!. Beach…beach…beach!
We did do the parasailing today. It is possibly the fastest way to spend $100 anywhere on the island. $95 for a tandem ride that lasts a mere 8 minutes long.
Also, I absolutely wore myself out on a catamaran again that afternoon. Four hours costs ~$120 US…that rate beats the heck out of that parasail!
Upon getting ready for dinner that evening, and actually having to chose which outfit she was going to wear, my wife admitted that being bag-less for the first half of the week had some significant stress relieving aspects.
We also discovered that the wife of one of our new friends was celebrating her 60th birthday on this trip. That was a shocker. Neither of us would have ever guessed that. Guess there's a lot to be said for the bag-less lifestyle!
We ate supper at Le Tastevin. Good food! We also ran into some friends we met on the beach…the second time this happened…and we promised we weren’t stalking them.
While we were walking back to GCBC, this lady starts shouting my wife's name from across the street. It took us both several moments to identify her. At first my wife thought it was someone from back home, as no matter where I go in the world, I always run into someone from home. Then we realized that we'd also met this person back on Bag-less Beach….hey, you’ve gotta say it….
"Oh my gosh, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!"….hahahaha
Wednesday - our last full day…and all that catamaran sailing had caught up with me.
After an hour or so of stretching and some Tylenol, I was finally in good enough shape to drive, so the morning was absorbed with a shopping trip to Marigot for presents to take back home…and to take time for my aching muscles to get over yesterday…and most especially for a trip to the ATM.
It seems there was one thing I didn't realize. At many of the restaurants, you can use your credit card…BUT, the tip has to be paid in cash. Tip-osis depleted our cash reserve much faster than anticipated.
We finally got to Bag-less Beach about one-o'clock and just chilled out the rest of the day.
Today was also the big cruise ship day…and it was obvious. The beach walker traffic was at least double or triple today, and really kept the Bag-less Beach security guys hopping to catch would-be clandestine photographers. Probably the funniest group to come by was a bunch of teenage oriental girls (20 or so) trying to be cool on a beach full of bag-less people.
One bunch of teenage guys came by wearing the hip-hop "droopy drawers" costumes. One in particular had at least half of his underwear showing, which is about the most ridiculous thing I could think of on Bag-less Beach! I couldn't help but laugh out loud and chided him, "Dude, this is a nude beach. Either pull up your pants or take them off!" (hummm…guess I musta been feelin' at home…or was it the Guavaberry speaking?)
The kid wouldn't even look at me, but I must have struck a nerve because about a minute later he shucked off his pants. The skivvies never came off, although he did walk the rest of Bag-less Beach in his boxers.
Now that was just too funny! I've always viewed the droopy drawers thing as a kind of arrogant, thick-skinned, in your face, "fashion" statement made for its intrinsic shock value. But when it came to actually showing some bare hide…I guess his skin wasn't all that thick after all.
After the beach got rolled up, we ate at Calmos in Grand Case. Sure wish we had found this place sooner! Chairs and tables are right on the beach, food is delicious, and the prices are reasonable…almost at lolo rates. Calmos is immediately north of the little bridge on restaurant row in Grand Case. The ribs were delicious. The orange and cinnamon flavored rum was excellent!
Thursday…last day…and the morning started out with rain…a tropical depression was passing over the island. As a result we decided to actually stay bagged this morning, and so we headed east to the bagged end of the beach for our last few hours.
After a short while we decided to walk the beach and ran into the newly-weds we'd been wondering about all week. Guess that was a Taoist moment too as it was the only time all week we’d been walkin’ around “bagged” on the beach.
They had taken what suggestions we'd offered about parts of the island to see and they were now also firmly of the opinion that they were walking the best beach on the island. They'd wandered down to the bag-less end of the beach a couple of times and you could tell that the husband still just wasn't sure of what to make of it…and that the wife was definitely going to be the more adventuresome of the two.
I have to admit it, but I am just plain envious of those two. The found this place while they are still young. Listening to their comments, I could tell that they will be back many times…while youth and vigor are still so commonplace they don't even think about it. Dang it! A piece of me would love for my wife and I to be in their shoes.
But, at least we found this place while we can still enjoy life for many years. And I am so thankful to have a wife who shares in enjoying life to the fullest. In fact, in a way I see that young couple as a reflection of us…and yes, I would have been the greenhorn.
And of course, by nearly lunch time, we ran into other bag-less friends we'd made, the gal we’d failed to recognize when “bagged”…and wound up sharing our last toast to the island…back on Bag-less Beach…at least partially de-bagged prior to our flight.
Our flight left mid-afternoon and was mostly uneventful…well at least as much as having to go through customs at Miami can be. I also ran into a guy from home on the flight back…it always happens sometime during a trip. He'd been on St Martin the same days we were, but the poor guy had missed out entirely on the bag-less experience, and he’d also been mildly ill almost his entire stay.
On the plane my wife and I talked about how nice a 10-day trip would be next time. Eight days just seemed too short. But also by now, my wife was really missing our son. By the time we landed (mid-night) she was definitely ready to pick him up at camp.
When we picked up our son at camp the next day…the first words out of his mouth were not "Gee I missed you Mom!"…but…"Next time, can I stay for two weeks?".
In the words of Lao Tzu, “The Tao that can be told is not the real Tao…”.and I'm pretty sure I owe my son for that one!
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