TravelTalkOnline Forums Travel and Vacation Forums British Virgin Islands LGBT safety in the BVI

Hi, everyone! I’m Janae. I just joined TravelTalk today, though I’ve been lurking for a few days. I’ve been to the BVI (and St Thomas, St John, Culebra, and Vieques) once before, on a captain only cat charter nearly 15 years ago.

But that was back when I was a man—at least on the outside, anyway. I have undergone a gender transition since then, and now I present publicly as a rather femme woman.

My wife (who is also a trans woman) and I are in the very beginning stages of planning a bareboat charter for May 2023. Another lesbian couple (one trans, one not) will be coming with us.

Can anyone here speak to whether or not the BVI is transgender friendly? The other trans woman coming with us and I can fly under the radar (“pass”), but my wife often gets misgendered—mistaken for a man, called “sir,” etc. In other words, she’s visibly transgender. Will she be safe? Are people likely to be rude to her?

Same questions regarding lesbianism as well. Can two women holding hands on the beach expect to remain safe and free of verbal harassment?

Thanks so much in advance for your thoughts on this topic!

Honestly, the BVI is not a very LGBT friendly destination. The locals are fairly religious. My suggestion is that you try a different destination. St. Maarten/St. Martin comes to mind, as a much better suggestion. Best wishes.

To be honest much of the Caribbean is a "homophobic" but, I have found , dont be overly expressive in public and it wont be a problem. I am not saying it should be that way..I worked in Hollywood for thirty years and share time between here and Sonoma so I am extremely liberal , accepting etc of all lifestyle choices..but I think you will be fine if you dont be overly expressive..not right I know... but save it for the boat, hotel, deserted beach and you will be fine. I would love to see things differently but that is the way it is...realise that some of the folks who make a noise are buried deep in the closets themselves!!!!

Mal--agreed, not saying it should be that way, and most of the Caribbean is pretty homophobic, but St Maarten/St. Martin is fairly different and more accepting than most places in the Caribbean.

My daughter and her girl friend were hassled once on Jost several years ago by a shop keeper. We've been chartering in the BVI for many years and that is the only time I can recall, or am aware of, that she felt uncomfortable. I think she feels more comfortable in the islands than many parts of the US mainland. She is not transgender. Her girl friend at the time of the incident is not either, but had short hair and l imagine to some looked like young boy.

Your post screams that you want to be accepted in public and IMHO opinion that is not a good idea. It would be fine if you go on your trip without having to openly show your affection in public. There was an incident in St. Maarten where a gay couple were kissing in public and a man smashed the guys head in with a crowbar.

Janae’s post doesn’t “scream” anything. She’s asked a straightforward question about a basic form of PDA - holding hands. I agree that many people in the BVI (and in the US, for that matter) seem to be disturbed by and intolerant of non-traditional relationships, so it is a prudent question.

Janae, I hope your travel planning goes well and that you have a great trip!

The BVI is a place where all visitors need to understand that Belongers prefer modest and chaste behavior in public. Now you might get confused about that during Carnivale, Jouvier and at the Willy T on Sunday, but visitors are held to a higher standard.

Used to be, if you appeared at the Customs Office on Jost to clear in to the territory, you'd be banished back to your boat if you weren't ALL wearing collared, sleeved shirts, knee length shorts ( or long pants), fully closed shoes, no hats/caps/sunglasses and absolutely no swearing inside the building. Granted, that was never the standard around the point at White Bay, but knowing where to genuflect to native opinion in a foreign territory goes a long way to keep vacation moving forward. If you screw up, you'll know.

" The more things change, the more they remain the same."

There has been a fairly large gay population on island as long as I’ve lived here and we have several regular guests. We spend a lot of time with them and their adopted son in bars, restaurants, and beaches. Never had a problem. No personal experience with transgender people but as you say, many you won’t know by appearance.

PDA is frowned on for anyone so I’d be conservative but I don’t think you’ll really have issues. People who have issues here are usually looking to have issues.

We have been sailing yearly and often twice yearly in the BVI since 1981. About 60 visits at 4 weeks each and with most of the weeks on shore. We have encountered gay groups and singles very often. More and more since the late 90’s. Cooper Island at one time was openly recruiting gay visitors. May still be. We have encountered entire flotillas of gay visitors. Have raced Spring Regatta against openly gay crewed boats. Have partied heavily at different beach bars with obviously gay groups. I personally never have seen a problem. Listen to Mal. Just play it cool and have fun. I would definitely plan that BVI cruise. And if you want a skipper I’ll be happy to refer you to a few who would be super. And yes they are locals.

I second Calsail - on Virgin Gorda there isn't a problem - in fact, one of our most influential locals transitioned himself.

Indeed gordaguy that is one very influential person on VG who has transitioned...lets open our minds and arms to all folks and hope they enjoy our beautiful islands..

Indeed many of us have a roof over our heads because of that individual. It’s all about being nice to those you encounter and acting like your mother or father were watching in public. Other than that no trouble id bet everything.

Thanks so much for your replies, everyone!

I love that the locals in the BVI are pretty religious. I am, too! Modest dress away from the beach is something we’d do anyway, whether it were expected or not. And we certainly would never make out in public, but we hold hands habitually without thinking about it. Or one of us will place our hand on the small of the other’s back as we hold the door for one another, that kind of thing. Sounds like we probably won’t have to worry about it too much, but we’ll be aware of our surroundings and try not to do those things if/when needed.

Delighted to hear there is a well known local on VG who has publicly transitioned!

Thanks for the offer of connecting us with LGBT-friendly skippers, Calsail, but our friend who’s coming with us has a USCG Master Near Coastal 100 ton captain’s license with a sailing endorsement, so the charter company shouldn’t require it.

We are going to forge ahead with our vacation planning. Wish we could go next year, but it’s gonna have to wait til 2023. Thanks again, y’all!

Have fun in the BVI's cheers Brian

You will have a spectacular adventure. As far as a local skipper, here is a note. We bare- boated the first 20 trips in the 80’s and 90’. We were also invited often to race Spring Regatta with some of the winning locals. We were So Cal owners/racers. Then one day we invited local racing legend Presley King to sail with us. Changed our BVI experience for the next 20 sails. We always, after that experience, invited a local skipper/friends to sail with us. Having a local aboard opens windows and doors everywhere. So keep this in mind for future trips because you will return. Also keep in mind that the BVI is the absolutely easiest bare boating territory imaginable. But why wait until 2023? Can’t wait for your report.