TravelTalkOnline Forums Trip Reports (Read Only) BVI Trip Reports and Photos Funniest Thing That Ever Happened While Sailing

This is the funniest thread EVER! <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/jester.gif" alt="" /> <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/jester.gif" alt="" /> <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/jester.gif" alt="" /> <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Banana.gif" alt="" /> <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Banana.gif" alt="" /> <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Banana.gif" alt="" />

Ok, so one more... you can file this one under the heading "we can laugh about this now since nobody died and it happened 30 years ago"... almost to this day.

Barb and I were still just dating, and I was introducing her to sailing. We'd sailed my fathers Watkins 23 sloop many times on the Potomac River near Washington DC. So she'd started to develop a comfort level with it.

I was doing a job in Little Creek VA, and convinced her to come down for the weekend since I was in a hotel there.

So they had Hobie 16's on the beach to rent near Lynhaven Inlet, and I hadn't killed her yet, so she foolishly agreed to go sailing with me. The wind was up that day.

I can't remember if I actually told her that this was my first experience at the helm of a Hobie 16. I'd sailed everything from a 14 foot sunfish to a 300 ton schooner, so how hard could this be? <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Blush.gif" alt="" />


We sailed waaaaaay out to the bridge-tunnel opening, managed to tack her around and went screaming back to the beach sometimes flying one hull. We were honkin!

Eventually we had to tack again, but we just couldn't get the boat around, so we decided to jibe. Bad idea.

When we tried to jibe the port hull dug in and the Hobie 16 went over in slow motion. Barb sailed past the boom and landed straddled on the opposite pontoon. Serious pain, grapefruit sized bruise. I went past the boom and leeward pontoon and face-first into the water.

The hobie turned turtle.
We tried mightily but could not right her.
(I was not smart enough to blow the sheets back then.)

Fortunately the wind was blowing on-shore and we got blown into a swim area.

A swimmer grabbed the top of the mast and held it up while we assumed the position. (well, I did).

The Hobie righted and in the blink of an eye off we went at about 15 knots, and almost flying one hull. I say we... except when I looked around Barb was not in view!

Then I heard her yelling! I looked back and she was holding on for dear life to the aft pipe between the hulls and yelling at me at the top of her lungs to "stop this effing thing!!!" This vision of her body-surfing back there was awe-inspiring. Oh to have had a video camera at that moment! <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Laugh.gif" alt="" /> We can laugh about this now.

Sadly, the sheets were on the leeward side and every time I tried to inch down there to grab the main-sheet the boat would fly up on one hull and threatened to capsize. I could not hold the tiller AND reach the main sheet.

After several seconds of this I looked back at Barb body surfing along and she gave me me a look that said "If I live through this I'm gonna kill you!" <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Hairy.gif" alt="" />

Finally it occurred to me that if I headed up I might just have a couple of seconds to dive for the main sheet and pop it out of the cleat before we bore off and capsized. This plan worked and so we came to rest.

We managed to get the boat back to shore after a few more tense minutes.

You can well imagine how the rest of the day went.

However, she still married me... 25 years ago come October!

<img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/jester.gif" alt="" /> <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/jester.gif" alt="" /> I have great pics of Piper heading up the mast on that transfer!

I can't believe we didn't tell you that story, Dirk! <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Laugh.gif" alt="" />

I love the pump story - that is hilarious....

While sailing on a brisk winter night out of Des Moines Harbor in Washington State we decided to head to our favorite watering hole at the Tides Tavern in Gig Harbor, while approaching the dock we found that the jib sheet had froze to the winch as did the main. No problem, we were going slow, but my buddy and I devised a great plan to where he just steps off the side with the stern line in hand, takes a wrap and problem solved, we approach, get lined up, my buddy springs into action unaware of all the ice on the dock and proceeds to slide all the way across and into the drink, but at least he caught the cleat on the way. Neither of us noticed the crowd gathering on the deck which gave us a standing ovation, and a couple of free hot toddies....

A few years ago we were moored in the Bight, this was around the time when there were reports of boats being boarded at night, with things being stolen. I woke to a noise of footsteps in the cockpit. I woke my husband up and told him that someone was on our boat. My husband jumped out of bed and ran into the galley (we were on a cat), out in the cockpit he saw another of our shipmates with his wifes bra on his head doing the victory dance…LOL. Imagine 2 men, both wearing their birthdate suits, standing 10 feet apart, they both were in shock. My husband came back to bed and said “You are not going to believe what I just saw, I will never get that out of my head”. Our shipmates last name is “Stark” we now call him “Stark a** naked”

Heading to Great Harbor one night many years ago from White Bay in the dink. I insisted that we use a flashlight, but my husband refused saying that he didn't want to shine light into the faces of other sailors. He had had a really good time at The Soggy all day, so he wasn't thinking correctly.. One of our crew was deathly afraid of the water. Rounding the curve into the harbor we rammed a huge rock. Our guest about died. My husband said, "oh hell, it's a rubber boat!" meaning nothing was hurt. Every time we sail by that rock we all say in unison, "OH HELL! IT'S A RUBBER BOAT"!

Have had some really memorable and funny experiences sailing and racing through the years.

About 5 years ago we were sailing J120 Blew Bayou in the Newport Ensenada Race, it was probably about 3:00 AM and realy dark and winds light with flat seas, we had a chute up and were toying with a couple boats with crews we knew that were behind us, we were slowly building up layers of TP over our stern light so they would think we were pulling away from them, they were constantly adjusting and doing sail cahnges while we just limed.
I spotted a white light that we were closing on quickly, thought it may be another competitor with bare poles and possibly in trouble so we changed course a bit and sail toward to investigate.

As we passed it we all immediatly got the chills and turned white, it was the light atop a periscope on a submarine!! We figured it may have been a US Navy Nuke that heard and knew we were aproaching, coulda been a drug smuggling sub as well, freaked us out bigtime! <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Yikes.gif" alt="" />

We marked the spot as a MOB on our GPS and started removing the TP from our stern light and made a radio announcement with the GPS location of the sub so others could avoid it.

We decided a round of beers were in order. <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Groovin.gif" alt="" />

We arrive at Cooper Island around 1PM and decide to grill burgers and hotdogs. One of the hotdogs rolls off of the grill and into the water where a very large barracuda swallows it in one bite. The barracuda, having had a tasty treat now hangs around our boat for the rest of the day, and even though we're very close to the beach, nobody goes swimming!

OMG Walt that is hilarious and VERY reminiscent of a few of my experiences with Rex on his Hobie! the funniest was when we were hiked out (he was at helm) and my feet slipped and like a wrecking ball I launched him and myself off the back, in the meantime the boat is sailing along with the two of dragging behind, he managed to climb back on but it was the same deal, boat hauling [censored] and me dragging in the water behind with no arm strength to pull myself up until he put the main sheet and the rudder in one hand and reached over and yanked me up with the other by the back of my lifejacket like a little kid LOL

I sailed my cousin's Laser once (without him aboard).... Wind was blowing hard parallel to shore so I headed directly out for maybe a mile. The time came to tack and over we went. Each time I righted the boat and got back in we'd catch the wind and go over again. It went like this for maybe 10 capsizes before I finally regained control and got back to shore. It wasn't too funny at the time! I was used to a Highlander or Albacore or Flying Scot -- a Laser is much more unforgiving!

That reminded me of my first time windsurfing.

My dad and I got windsurfers and went to use them for the first time. We had never done it before and seemed to have no issue. That was until we decided to head back to shore where we started. All we did so far was go across the pond from one side to the other - it was when we went to turn around that we realized we had no idea how to steer <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Grin.gif" alt="" />

We ended up breaking down the windsurfer and paddled our way back. Took a land lesson once and after that had no problems ever again.

I look back and laugh on it now, but it was not fun paddling back - it was a pain, but at least it was a small pond.

Saw this at Nanny Cay a few weeks ago. I liked the home port name. Same boat?

Nah, that's a cat, we were on a J 120 which is a 40' mono. <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Groovin.gif" alt="" />

We had quite a following at several yacht clubs, the bartenders had BB shot glasses we gave them and others would even order our trademark Blew Bayou! <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/toast.gif" alt="" />

Classic ATC conversation:
Approach: The traffic at 9 o'clock's gonna do a little Linda Ronstadt on you.
Single engine pilot: Say again, Linda Ronstadt? What's that?
Approach: Well, sir, they're gonna "Blue Bayou".

Hey, I wonder if that is Don Henleys boat? He is from Uncertain Texas. Uncertain is a tiny little town off of Lake Caddo in Texas. You can go into the swamps there and never come out.

Unfortunately...I have a list, and a wall of shame to back it up...

1. So, you might have all heard the "Buried Treasure" at CGB ,story?

2. The there is the 3B's not good...Blue Toenails,Birkenstocks,Board Meeting, story?

3. Shang-highing the "sold everything, quit our jobs, going to make cheese"..English couple, story?

4. My daughters lesson on "Dolphins don't eat people, they just like country music, story?

5. Linda flying over the mast, me through the sail, story?

And yes, as an added bonus, once I figure out how to post pictures, I can further humiliate myself!!! As there are cool pictures for each.

There was the time my teenaged daughters (about 17-18) decided to stay at Foxy's because it was only 10 pm and Mom and Dad were tired. We said ok, because they are very self sufficient and responsible. (They said) I awoke at 3 am and still no girls. I paced the deck and didn't know whether or not to go knocking on everyone's boat. I was frantic. All of a sudden here comes one of those super dinghies racing over from a huge mega yacht. The captain let them out and they had a basket of goodies. Cake, snacks, fruit, etc. This was about the time that Johnny Depp was filming Pirates of the Caribbean. They told me that Johnny's crew (women included) had invited them back to the boat to have a good time. They said that Johnny himself never spoke to them, but was watching Animal Planet on tv. They said that their yacht was the other big one anchored outside of the harbor. They said that their dad was Paul Mitchell. (true, but not THAT Paul Mitchell!) When the dinghy captain offered to take them home they said yes please, but whispered that their real boat was the 40' monohull in the middle of the mooring field. He laughed and brought them home with a basket full of goodies I was waiting on the deck and I was SO ANGRY! I made them immediately swab the entire deck on their hands and knees, and scrub all of the windows. About 45 minutes later here comes the yacht sailing right by us. They kept their heads way down, and I was laughing my arse off, as the crew was waving and saying goodbye to them.

OH. They just told me LAST YEAR that Johnny Depp wasn't on the boat but they thought they would be in less trouble if they said it! They are both 28 now!