A combination of warm water and some sort of oil is what I use. This could be Canola, Olive or anything else you would deem safe to eat. The oil is slightly warmed for best results and should stay in the ear canal for several minutes to soften the ear wax. Then, warm water is used to flush out the canal. You can use any device that can provide a moderate stream of water such as a hypodermic (needle removed please!), wash bottle, whatever.
Doctors sometimes rush this procedure which can make it painful. So you could try doing it on your own and see how you make out.
Do NOT under any circumstances, try to use Q tips as they will force the wax further into the canal, making things worse.
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